Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we're making bets on your personal life
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
