I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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