Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
