She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
