I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
