just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I checked into jail on foursquare
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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