Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
