it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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