I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
