you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
