The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
