She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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