wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
