He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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