I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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