I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
