Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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