I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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