ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Randomize
