I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
