Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
