from now on my penis is your penis
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
