i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
