Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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