what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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