I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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