After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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