You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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