So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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