just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kristin has been a bad kristin
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
