Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
