she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
