Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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