he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize