Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
