and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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