i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
