I hate your face
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
