i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
