i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
