I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
