I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
