mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
