I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can tuck mytits in my pants
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
