This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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