Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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