Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
