Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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