You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
