yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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