my mouth tastes like poor choices
i will never coherently bang her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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