i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
