they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
